Oh how time can deceive! Ever so slowly my physical pain has subsided, the fabulous nutraceuticals I take have healed my body on a cellular level, which has the basal expression of discomfort registering as a quiet murmur. Until day before yesterday that is … when BAM! I sat wrong at my computer while working and the reverse curve of my cervical spine became agitated. I woke up day before yesterday in excruciating pain throughout my neck, head, shoulders, mid-back, my arms and hands are weak in addition to throbbing with pain, my range of motion diminished, and those bad days the quote above speaks of … well, they set in.
I quickly slipped into my strong suit of denying the discomfort, of doggedly going about my day, and doing my best to dismiss the voice in my head that asks … will this become my ‘new normal’, how long will the pain last, will I be able to complete what I am creating, am I crazy for trying … ??? … on and on! Within milliseconds my mind jumped to my second realization of time … that it moves quickly! I am a few weeks away from completing my first year of Landmark’s Team Management and Leadership Program, where I am being trained in creating teams and teamwork and my identity immediately concludes I have failed at the program. I have gained MUCH over the last year and in this breakdown all I can see is how team and teamwork is lacking in launching Just Jenuine Creations. I am still doing it all, redesigning my website, creating/marketing a wall calendar, creating a weekly planner, writing an ebook, and creating online courses. The people that said they would contribute, I have failed to successfully follow through with them, and I am working every waking hour.
I have it all there is to do is fill my mind with positive thoughts, not to listen to the voice shared above, so these last couple days I have intentionally put one foot in front of the other, honored my word, and filled my mind with gratitude. I have simultaneously marveled and reminded myself … for YEARS I lived in pain and dysfunction far greater than this. I’ve created appreciation of how pain-free I was just a few days ago. I celebrated how far I’ve come. I chose to see this experience as a gift, a gift of perspective, an opportunity to wake to the realization of how much I have transformed.
When what should happen, literally just as I was typing this post … my phone rang and the marketer that offered to support me called to see how she could be of assistance. It was a beautiful conversation, she got a breakthrough in how she occurs to others as unreliable and I took responsibility for making up she was too busy to follow through on what we created. Within one miraculous phone call, we both broke through that which holds us back. I have team in my life, what is lacking is inspired action to reach out to them and create opportunity for them to contribute.
I do not know how long this pain will remain and instead of focusing my thoughts on that, I employ all of my many bags of tricks for pain management and believe that this too shall pass. I have come to a place of acceptance, I am taking the steps to care for my wellbeing, I am employing teamwork, and I acknowledge I am not my body, I am not my pain, I am who I say I am, and I am love. In these moments, when it is so tempting to listen to the fears, I choose to believe in love, to believe this to be another of life’s lessons, to pause a moment on the side of my mountain and enjoy the view of how far I’ve climbed.
***The image and quote shared above is included in an Intentional Living! 2015 Calendar for sale here.***
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